I want to let you in on a little secret.

When my father first retired he was very excited to spend more time with my mom. He looked forward to lounging around the house, tending to his garden, and helping her with the grocery shopping and household errands.

Your probably wondering, what’s wrong that?

I’ll let you in on another secret.

My mom did not want to spend all her time with my father and chances are YOUR WIFE DOESN’T WANT TO SPEND ALL HER TIME WITH YOU!

I know this may be hard for you to hear. But your wife probably has a life independent of yours, and she won’t want to lose that independence or have you accompany her to lunch with her girlfriends.

I know that when you first retire life can be difficult and stressful. All of a sudden you went from having a title, a routine and a paycheque to having countless hours on your hands with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

You may feel like A FISH OUT OF WATER . You don’t know what to do with yourself and you feel as though your life lacks meaning and purpose.

If you feel this way you are not alone. Many people, especially men, feel lost when they first retire. But you can’t expect your wife to always entertain you or plan your social schedule.

Following her around and listening in on her phone conversations is not going to endear you to her.

Have you noticed that she is now taking the phone in to the closet so that she can talk to her girlfriends in PRIVATE ???

So here’s what you need to do.

You need to develop new hobbies

Find some new buddies

Become a member of an association

Take up a new language or

Learn how to make sushi

Make a date with your wife twice a week so that she feels that you are placing aside time for just the two of you.

Do something romantic. Send her flowers once in a while.

Make her feel special and I guarantee she will want to spend more time with you.

Remember it is not the quantity of time that you spend together, but the quality of your time together that matters.

Until next time,

To your retirement success!

Gillian

Gillian Leithman is the founder and president of Directions Third Age Consultants Inc, a company devoted to helping people prepare for their emotional well-being in retirement.

For more information check out

www.directionsrc.com

or drop Gill a line at gill@directionsrc.com