Not planning for your emotional well-being in retirement can make for a very difficult transition from work to retirement. Not to mention it can place a great deal of stress on your relationship with your spouse.

Let me ask you this:

Have you thought about what a week in your life, as a retiree would look like?

Think about what you plan on doing the day that you retire. Next, plan out your daily activities for the following 7 days. And don’t forget you have to consider the impact that your schedule will have on your spouse.

Are the two of you going to spend everyday together?

Are you going to designate certain days that are “couple days”? And other days in which you will do whatever YOU want to do? Alone, or just you and your friends?

If you plan on spending more time at home you must understand that

OLD ROLES NO LONGER APPLY.

Maybe when you were working the arrangement you had with your spouse was that one of you was responsible for grocery shopping and meal preparation while the other’s responsibilities included taking out the garbage, fixing things around the house and tending to the lawn.

Well guess what-

YOUR PARTNER MARRIED YOU FOR BETTER OR WORSE BUT NOT FOR LUNCH EVERYDAY!

So now that you are no longer working, you can’t expect 3 COOKED meals a day. You are going to have to learn to fend for yourself.

Unless you find a way to communicate with your spouse and establish new roles and new roles for this stage of your life, you will find yourself in a world of pain and frustration.

So here are some issues you should clarify with your spouse when planning for this next life stage:

Revisit your marriage contract

When you were first married, you and your partner developed a contract that

dictated who would do what. This contract may have been written, discussed

or just adapted based on your beliefs and expectations of each partner’s role

within their marriage. It is now time to revisit this contract and adapt it to

this next phase of life.

You need to clarify the following:

How much time will you spend alone? How much time will you spend with

your spouse?

Do you have activities that you will pursue together? Do you plan on

engaging in activities alone?

Do you share the same interests? Do you have different interests?

Do you spend your money in the same ways or are one of you a saver and

the other a spender?

If the thought of having to renegotiate your marriage contract has provoked anxiety than you have come to the right place.

These issues do cause a great deal of stress for both men and women who are planning to retire but have not thought about how retirement will affect their marriage.

Stress is not a bad thing. Stress will cause you to take INITIATIVE and plan for this next phase of life. So don’t get discouraged.

In fact I COMMEND you for taking the time to read this blog. Just having more information on what to expect about the retirement transition and how retirement can influence your marriage, will help you alleviate a lot of the anxiety and depression.

Knowledge is power.

And know that after what can at times be a rocky start, most married couples do overcome the challenges brought on by retirement and adjust 12 months later.

Until next time,

To your retirement succes!

Gillian

Gillian Leithman is the founder and president of Directions Third Age Consultants Inc, a company devoted to helping people prepare for their emotional well-being in retirement.

For more information visit www.directionsrc.com or

Drop her a line at gill@directionsrc.com